IDE

IDE atau Ide berarti:
Gagasan, lihat wiktionary:Ide

Dalam Kamus Besar Bahasa Indonesia (KBBI), ide adalah rancangan yang tersusun di pikiran. Artinya sama dengan gagasan atau cita-cita. Ide dalam kajian Filsafat Yunani maupun Filsafat Islam menyangkut suatu gambaran imajinal utuh yang melintas cepat. Misalnya ide tentang sendok, muncul dalam bentuk sendok yang utuh di pikiran. Selama ide belum dituangkan menjadi suatu konsep dengan tulisan maupun gambar yang nyata, maka ide masih berada di dalam pikiran.


Ide yang sudah dinyatakan menjadi suatu perbuatan adalah karya cipta. Untuk mengubah ide menjadi karya cipta dilakukan serangkaian proses berpikir yang logis dan seringkali realisasinya memerlukan usaha yang terus menerus sehingga antara ide awal yang muncul di pikiran dan karya cipta satu sama lain saling bersesuaian sebagai kenyataan. Alam Pikiran Yunani menjangkau pengertian Ide Ideal atau Ide Sempurna. Dari pemikiran tentang yang sempurna itu lahirlah gagasan-gagaan tentang ketuhanan sebagai Ide Ideal Tertinggi yang dapat dipikirkan dan dirasakan oleh manusia keberadaannya yaitu tentang Pencipta Makhluk atau Tuhan.


Tokoh utama dari Alam Pikiran Yunani yang membahas tentang ide dan pikiran sebagai kajian filsafat adalah Plato.


Ide sebagai nama kata benda dinisbahkan kepada banyak benda misalnya:


Ide (ikan) - nama latin ikan Leuciscus idus
Ide, Devon - nama sebuah desa di Inggris
Yuji Ide - nama seorang pembalap Formula Satu dari Jepang

Rocky Mountain

Since the last great Ice Age, the Rocky Mountains were home first to Paleo-Indians and then to the indigenous peoples of the Apache, Arapaho, Bannock, Blackfoot, Cheyenne, Crow, Flathead, Shoshoni, Sioux, Ute, Kutenai (Ktunaxa in Canada), Sekani, Dunne-za, and others.[1] Paleo-Indians hunted the now-extinct mammoth and ancient bison (an animal 20% larger than modern bison) in the foothills and valleys of the mountains. Like the modern tribes that followed them, Paleo-Indians probably migrated to the plains in fall and winter for bison and to the mountains in spring and summer for fish, deer, elk, roots, and berries. In Colorado, along the crest of the Continental Divide, rock walls that Native Americans built for driving game date back 5,400–5,800 years.[1] A growing body of scientific evidence indicates that indigenous peoples had significant effects on mammal populations by hunting and on vegetation patterns through deliberate burning.[1]

Recent human history of the Rocky Mountains is one of more rapid change.[1] The Spanish explorer Francisco Vásquez de Coronado—with a group of soldiers, missionaries, and African slaves—marched into the Rocky Mountain region from the south in 1540. The introduction of the horse, metal tools, rifles, new diseases, and different cultures profoundly changed the Native American cultures. Native American populations were extirpated from most of their historical ranges by disease, warfare, habitat loss (eradication of the bison), and continued assaults on their culture.[1]
 
Colorado Rockies

In 1739, French fur traders Pierre and Paul Mallet, while journeying through the Great Plains, discovered a range of mountains at the headwaters of the Platte River, which local American Indian tribes called the "Rockies", becoming the first Europeans to report on this uncharted mountain range.[3]

Sir Alexander MacKenzie (1764 – March 11, 1820) became the first European to cross the Rocky Mountains in 1793. He found the upper reaches of the Fraser River and reached the Pacific coast of what is now Canada on July 20 of that year, completing the first recorded transcontinental crossing of North America north of Mexico. He arrived at Bella Coola, British Columbia, where he first reached saltwater at South Bentinck Arm, an inlet of the Pacific Ocean.

The Lewis and Clark Expedition (1804–1806) was the first scientific reconnaissance of the Rocky Mountains. Specimens were collected for contemporary botanists, zoologists, and geologists.[1] The expedition was said to have paved the way to (and through) the Rocky Mountains for European-Americans from the East, although Lewis and Clark met at least 11 European-American mountain men during their travels.[1]

Mountain men, primarily French, Spanish, and British, roamed the Rocky Mountains from 1720 to 1800 seeking mineral deposits and furs. The fur-trading North West Company established Rocky Mountain House as a trading post in what is now the Rocky Mountain foothills of present-day Alberta in 1799, and their business rivals the Hudson's Bay Company established Acton House nearby. These posts served as bases for most European activity in the Canadian Rockies in the early 1800s. Among the most notable are the expeditions of David Thompson (explorer), who followed the Columbia River to the Pacific Ocean. On his 1811 expedition, he camped at the junction of the Coumbia River and the Snake River and erected a pole and notice claiming the area for Great Britain and stating the intention of the North West Company to build a fort at the site.

By the Anglo-American Convention of 1818, which established the 49th Parallel as the international boundary west from Lake of the Woods to the Rocky mountains; the UK and the USA agreed to what has since been described as "joint occupancy" of lands west to the Pacific Ocean. Resolution of the territorial and treaty issues, the Oregon dispute, was deferred until a later time.

In 1819, Spain ceded their rights north of the 42nd Parallel to the United States, though these rights did not include possession.

After 1802, American fur traders and explorers ushered in the first widespread caucasian presence in the Rockies south of the 49th parallel. The more famous of these include Americans included William Henry Ashley, Jim Bridger, Kit Carson, John Colter, Thomas Fitzpatrick, Andrew Henry, and Jedediah Smith. On July 24, 1832, Benjamin Bonneville led the first wagon train across the Rocky Mountains by using Wyoming's South Pass.[1]

Negotiations with Great Britain over the next few decades failed to settle upon a compromise boundary and the Oregon Dispute became important in geopolitical diplomacy between the British Empire and the new American Republic. Disputed joint-occupancy by Britain and the U.S.A., lasted until June 15, 1846, when Britain ceded their claims to this land with the Treaty of Oregon.

In 1841 James Sinclair (fur trapper) guided some 200 settlers from the Red River Colony west in an attempt to retain the Columbia District for Britain. The party crossed the Rockies into the Columbia Valley, near present-day Radium Hot Springs, British Columbia, then traveled south. Despite such efforts, in 1846,Britain ceded all claim to Columbia districtlands south of the 49th parallel to the United States; as resolution to the Oregon boundary dispute by the Oregon Treaty.

Thousands passed through the Rocky Mountains on the Oregon Trail beginning in 1842. The Mormons began to settle near the Great Salt Lake in 1847. From 1859 to 1864, Gold was discovered in Colorado, Idaho, Montana, and British Columbia sparking several gold rushes bringing thousands of prospectors and miners to explore every mountain and canyon and to create the Rocky Mountain's first major industry. The Idaho gold rush alone produced more gold than the California and Alaska gold rushes combined and was important in the financing of the Union Army during the American Civil War. The transcontinental railroad was completed in 1869, and Yellowstone National Park was established as the world's first national park in 1872. While settlers filled the valleys and mining towns, conservation and preservation ethics began to take hold. U.S. President Harrison established several forest reserves in the Rocky Mountains in 1891–1892. In 1905, U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt extended the Medicine Bow Forest Reserve to include the area now managed as Rocky Mountain National Park.[1] Economic development began to center on mining, forestry, agriculture, and recreation, as well as on the service industries that support them.[1] Tents and camps became ranches and farms, forts and train stations became towns, and some towns became cities.[1]

World

Earth
Main article: Earth

Earth is the only place in the universe where life is known by humanity to exist at this time. Most scientific evidence indicates that the planet formed 4.6 billion years ago,[4][5][6][7] and life appeared on its surface within a billion years. Since then, Earth's biosphere has significantly altered the atmosphere and other abiotic conditions on the planet, enabling the proliferation of aerobic organisms as well as the formation of the ozone layer which, together with Earth's magnetic field, blocks harmful radiation, permitting life on land.[8]

Earth's outer surface is divided into several rigid segments, or tectonic plates, that gradually migrate across the surface over periods of many millions of years. About 71% of the surface is covered with salt-water oceans, the remainder consisting of continents and islands; liquid water, necessary for all known life, is not known to exist on any other planet's surface.[9][10] Earth's interior remains active, with a thick layer of relatively solid mantle, a liquid outer core that generates a magnetic field, and a solid iron inner core.

The earth consists of seven continents listed as follows: North America, South America, Antarctica, Africa, Europe, Asia and Australia; the largest of which is Asia. There are several other methods of determining the continents.

Earth is impacted upon by other objects in outer space, including the Sun and the Moon. At present, Earth orbits the Sun once for every roughly 365.26 times it rotates about its axis. This length of time is a sidereal year, which is equal to 365.26 solar days.[11] The Earth's axis of rotation is tilted 23.4° away from the perpendicular to its orbital plane,[12] producing seasonal variations on the planet's surface with a period of one tropical year (365.24 solar days). Earth's only known natural satellite, the Moon, which began orbiting it about 4.53 billion years ago, provides ocean tides, stabilizes the axial tilt and gradually slows the planet's rotation. A cometary bombardment during the early history of the planet played a role in the formation of the oceans.[13] Later, asteroid impacts caused significant changes to the surface environment.

Humanity
Further information: Human and World population

Humans are bipedal primates belonging to the mammalian species Homo sapiens. Compared to other animals, humans have a relatively highly developed brain capable of abstract reasoning, language, and introspection. This mental capability, combined with an erect body carriage that frees their upper limbs for manipulating objects, has allowed humans to make far greater use of tools than any other species. DNA evidence indicates that modern humans originated in Africa about 200,000 years ago.[14] Humans now inhabit every continent and low Earth orbit, with a total population of over 6.73 billion humans as of January 2009.[15]

Like most primates, humans are social by nature. However, humans are particularly adept at utilizing systems of communication for self-expression, the exchange of ideas, and organization. Humans create complex social structures composed of many cooperating and competing groups, from families to nations. Social interactions between humans have established an extremely wide variety of traditions, rituals, ethics, values, social norms, and laws which form the basis of human society. Humans have a marked appreciation for beauty and aesthetics which, combined with the human desire for self-expression, has led to cultural innovations such as art, literature and music.

Humans are noted for their desire to understand and influence the world around them, seeking to explain and manipulate natural phenomena through science, philosophy, mythology and religion. This natural curiosity has led to the development of advanced tools and skills.

Atlantis

Atlantis, Atalantis,[1] atau Atlantika[1] (bahasa Yunani: Ἀτλαντὶς νῆσος, "pulau Atlas") adalah pulau legendaris yang pertama kali disebut oleh Plato dalam buku Timaeus dan Critias.[2]

Dalam catatannya, Plato menulis bahwa Atlantis terhampar "di seberang pilar-pilar Herkules", dan memiliki angkatan laut yang menaklukan Eropa Barat dan Afrika 9.000 tahun sebelum waktu Solon, atau sekitar tahun 9500 SM. Setelah gagal menyerang Yunani, Atlantis tenggelam ke dalam samudra "hanya dalam waktu satu hari satu malam".

Atlantis umumnya dianggap sebagai mitos yang dibuat oleh Plato untuk mengilustrasikan teori politik. Meskipun fungsi cerita Atlantis terlihat jelas oleh kebanyakan ahli, mereka memperdebatkan apakah dan seberapa banyak catatan Plato diilhami oleh tradisi yang lebih tua. Beberapa ahli mengatakan bahwa Plato menggambarkan kejadian yang telah berlalu, seperti letusan Thera atau perang Troya, sementara lainnya menyatakan bahwa ia terinspirasi dari peristiwa kontemporer seperti hancurnya Helike tahun 373 SM atau gagalnya invasi Athena ke Sisilia tahun 415-413 SM.

Masyarakat sering membicarakan keberadaan Atlantis selama Era Klasik, namun umumnya tidak mempercayainya dan terkadang menjadikannya bahan lelucon. Kisah Atlantis kurang diketahui pada Abad Pertengahan, namun, pada era modern, cerita mengenai Atlantis ditemukan kembali. Deskripsi Plato menginspirasikan karya-karya penulis zaman Renaissance, seperti "New Atlantis" karya Francis Bacon. Atlantis juga mempengaruhi literatur modern, dari fiksi ilmiah hingga buku komik dan film. Namanya telah menjadi pameo untuk semua peradaban prasejarah yang maju (dan hilang).

History of Niagara falls

There are differing theories as to the origin of the name of the falls. According to Iroquoian scholar Bruce Trigger, "Niagara" is derived from the name given to a branch of the locally residing native Neutral Confederacy, who are described as being called the "Niagagarega" people on several late 17th century French maps of the area.[8]

A number of figures have been suggested as first circulating an eyewitness description of Niagara Falls. Frenchman Samuel de Champlain visited the area as early as 1604 during his exploration of Canada, and members of his party reported to him the spectacular waterfalls, which he described in his journals. Finnish-Swedish naturalist Pehr Kalm explored the area in the early 1700s and wrote of the experience. The consensus honoree is Belgian Father Louis Hennepin, who observed and described the Falls in 1677, earlier than Kalm, after traveling with explorer René Robert Cavelier, Sieur de la Salle, thus bringing the Falls to the attention of Europeans. Further complicating matters, there is credible evidence that French Jesuit Reverend Paul Ragueneau visited the Falls some 35 years before Hennepin's visit, while working among the Huron First Nation in Canada. Jean de Brébeuf also may have visited the Falls, while spending time with the Neutral Nation.[9]
 
Man and woman on Canadian side of Niagara Falls, circa 1858
 
Maria Spelterini crossing the Niagara gorge on a tightrope on July 4, 1876

During the 18th century tourism became popular, and by mid-century, it was the area's main industry. Napoleon Bonaparte's brother Jérôme visited with his bride in the early 19th century.[10] In 1837 during the Caroline affair a rebel supply ship, the Caroline, was burned and sent over the Falls. Demand for passage over the Niagara River led in 1848 to the building of a footbridge and then Charles Ellet's Niagara Suspension Bridge. This was supplanted by German-born John Augustus Roebling's Niagara Falls Suspension Bridge in 1855. After the American Civil War, the New York Central railroad publicized Niagara Falls as a focus of pleasure and honeymoon visits. With increased railroad traffic, in 1886, Leffert Buck replaced Roebling's wood and stone bridge with the predominantly steel bridge that still carries trains over the Niagara River today. The first steel archway bridge near the Falls was completed in 1897. Known today as the Whirlpool Rapids Bridge, it carries vehicles, trains, and pedestrians between Canada (through Canadian Customs Border Control) and the U.S.A. just below the Falls. In 1941 the Niagara Falls Bridge Commission completed the third current crossing in the immediate area of Niagara Falls with the Rainbow Bridge, carrying both pedestrian and vehicular traffic between the two countries and Canadian and U.S. customs for each country.

After the First World War, tourism boomed again as automobiles made getting to the Falls much easier. The story of Niagara Falls in the 20th century is largely that of efforts to harness the energy of the Falls for hydroelectric power, and to control the development on both sides that threaten the area's natural beauty.

Maldives Beach - Sun Island - Nalaguraidhoo

One of Maldives best beaches (of the inhabitable ones, that is), happens to be in the South Ari Atoll. The island is named Nalaguraidhoo and it is simply stunning. Some 62 miles from the Maldive airport at Male, some call Sun Island the flower of the Indies! You'll get away from it all, here. Among the 1190 islands that make up this wonderful place, Sun Island carries many excellent recommendations. When you land, you'll know you're somewhere special.

Why did we choose this spectacle, set on a tiny dot in the Indian Ocean? Here's what we found: Sun Island was probably a coral/sand island with tropical vegetation and no refinements. Since the Maldives took a great interest in tourism during the past 20 years, over 65 resorts have sprung up. Companies visited the larger, more compatible islands and made decisions to build resorts. Many islands have only one resort.

Sun Island didn't need much work. You can tell that much of the beauty is not man-made at all. First, the shape of the island lends to a grand lagoon, perfect for water sports such as snorkeling or canoeing. The barrier reef starts close enough to swim to and nature responds with a myriad of colorful fish and coral, sea life and crystal clear water. So clear, as a matter of fact, many say they feel as if they are flying over the reef. But, if you're not the water lover - you're in luck.

It's absolutely crazy, but there are parts of the island where you can see the reef right from the beach - with no need to get in the water! Plus, if you choose an overwater bungalow, you can literally day dream for hours while watching the fish and other creatures do their thing from your lanai. Here's a few tips while snorkeling: Rentals are around $7/day. Get a mask that fits well - no leaks. Fins must be comfortable. Ask the resort where the best snorkel spots are - don't waste time. Ask about any potential problems. Wear a t-shirt and suntan lotion. Finally, don't stand on the coral - it's fragile!


Next, the other shore is a stunning pure white beach that you can walk, jog, relax, take pictures of - whatever you dream. Even in high tide the shore is full and inviting. Catch the sunset here, or be catered to by the staff in grand style. There's nothing like sipping on a drink, listening to the surf, feeling the gentle breeze and the soft touch of the sun on your skin as you unwind on holiday so far from home no one could find you if they had to. Isn't that what you're here for?

Sun Island is a "sun" spot - most days full sun with little cloud cover. You know the daytime routine - tanning, snorkeling, reading, diving, windsurfing. But at night, you're in for a treat. Most come here with little regard to night life - by the time the sun is setting, you are, too! However, make sure you plan to go on one of the nighttime fishing trips - just a few hours right after sundown, which end in a fantastic fish fry and bake right on the beach. Nothing could end the evening better than a Maldivian customary meal under the stars.

Berpikir Kritis

Strategi Berpikir Kritis di dalam Belajar

Studi berpikir kritis suatu subyek atau masalah dengan pengertian yang luas (terbuka).

Proses dimulai dengan sutau pernyataan apa yang akan dipelajari,
menampilkan temuan tidak terbatas dan pertimbangan kemungkinan-kemungkinan,
dan kesimpulan pola-pola pengertian yang didasarkan pada kejadian.
Alasan-alasan, penyimpangan, dan prasangka baik para pengajar maupun para ahli membandingkan dan membentuk lembaga penilaian.

Masuk dengan pikiran terbuka:
Jelaskan tujuan Anda, apa yang Anda ingin pelajari
Bereskan dan yakinkan subyek Anda dengan guru Anda atau ahli.

Topik dapat dengan frase yang sederhana:
"Peran Gender di dalam permainan video game”
"Sejarah Politik Perancis di antara Perang Besar pada paruh abad ke-20“
"Penanaman Pohon Mahogoni di Amerika Tengah”
"Peraturan Perpipaan Domestik di Daerah Pinggiran Kota”
"Kosa kata dan Struktur Kerangka Manusia”
Pikirkan apa yang Anda ketahui tentang subyek
Apa yang Anda sudah ketahui akan membantu Anda di dalam studi ini?
Apa prasangka Anda?
Sumber apa yang penting untuk Anda, dan penentuan garis waktu Anda?
Memperoleh informasi
Menutup pikiran tidak akan membuka pilihan Anda dan
peluang kesempatan.
Bertanyalah
Apa prasangka para pengarang terhadap informasi?
Aturlah apa yang Anda kumpulkan ke dalam pola-pola pemahaman
Carilah kaitannya
Ajukan pertanyaan (lagi)
Pikirkan bagaimana Anda akan mendemonstrasikan pelajaran Andaesuai
sesuai dengan topik Anda. Ya! Bagaimana Anda mencipatakan ujian
Tentang apa yang Anda pelajari?
Dari yang sederhana ke yang lebih sulit (1-6) terapan:1.
Daftar, label, identitas
Demonstrasi Pengetahuan
2.
Defininisikan, jelaskan,
ringkaskan dengan kata-kata
Anda sendiri
Pengertian/Pemahaman
3.
Pecahkan, terapkan ke situasi baru
Gunakan pelajaran Anda, dan terapkan
4.
Bandingkan dan tentangkan, perbedaan antara item
Analisis
5.
Ciptakan, gabungkan, invent
Sintesis
6.
Alihkan, rekomendasikan, nilai
Evaluasi dan jelaskan mengapa


Pikirkan di dalam aturan bagaimana membuat pelajaran Anda sebagai petualangan di dalam penjelajahan!

Ringkasan Berpikir Kritis:
Tentukan fakta-fakta di dalam situasi baru atau subyek tanpa prasangka
Tempatkan fakta-fakta dan informasi ini sedemikian rupa di dalam pola Sehingga Anda memahaminya
Menerima atau menolak sumber nila dan kesimpulan yang didasarkan pada pengalaman, penilaian, dan keyakinan Anda.

Cara Menghilangkan Stres

Kehidupan modern yang penuh dengan permasalahan, ditambah beban hidup yang menumpuk, membuat stress dan tertekan. Jika dibiarkan akan mengganggu secara psikologis. Namun ada banyak cara untuk meredakan stress, misalnya:
1. Atur tarikan nafas. Tarik nafas dalam – dalam dan hembuskan dengan perlahan, konsentrasi pada gerakan diafragma anda. Lakukan dua atau tiga kali, hingga mulai merasa terkendali.
2. Redakan ketegangan. Jika sedang duduk, berdirilah dan lakukan perenggangan yang lembut. Gerakan tangan dan lengan bergantian, lalu angkat bahu dan buat tubuh anda terasa rileks.
3. Bergerak. Lakukan jalan cepat, walaupun hanya jalan – jalan di seputar ruangan atau kamar mandi. Hal itu berguna untuk membantu melancarkan aliran darah. Bergerak secara teratur juga dapat membantu membakar efek negatif dari hormon stres.
4. Berteriak dan menjerit. Pergilah ke suatu tempat pribadi lalu berteriak dan menjerit sepuasnya. Cara itu dapat dipakai untuk terapi pereda stres.
5. Terapi Esensial Bunga. Petakan beberapa tetes sari bunga, seperti Bach Rescue Remedy, Jan de Vries Emergency Essence atau Australian Bush Flower Emergency Essence di lidah anda.
6. Berpikirlah positif. Pilih sesuatu yang layak, suatu pemikiran pribadi yang positif. Ulangi secara teratur pada diri anda sendiri.
7. Konsumsi makanan sehat.Diet dan jangan tergoda makan secara berlebihan.
8. Dengarkan musik. Irama musik yang lembut dapat membantu anda lebih tenang.
9. Terorganisasi. Mulai mengatur kehidupan dan waktu secara efektif. Membuat prioritas, sehingga anda dapat mengatasi tekanan dalam suatu waktu.
10. Tertawa.Menonton komedi, tertawa bersama teman anda, atau kunjungi website lelucon merupakan penawar luarbiasa bagi stres.
11. Menemukan ketenangan dari dalam. Visualisasi atau meditasi dapat membantu menemukan sebuah ketenangan dari dalam, pada saat disekeliling anda dipenuhi tekanan dan kegaduhan.
12. Konsumsi vitamin dan suplemen. Anda mungkin membutuhkan sejumlah vitamin B dan antioksidan semacam vitamin C dan E pada saat sedang tertekan. Suplemen probiotik dapat juga membantu anda mengatasi stress

Kumpulan cerpen ucul

Hello kawan-kawan..:) Ada beberapa cerita-cerita lucu nih..Silahkan dinikmati, resapi, dan kalo gak lucu silahkan dibaca dengan gaya kepala dibawah, kaki diatas..jiahhhhhh..:)

Salah Nurunin Resleting
Tumini seorang wanita dewasa pegawai sebuah kantor swasta asing pagi itu mau berangkat kerja dan lagi menunggu bus kota di mulut gang rumahnya. Seperti biasa pakaian yang dikenakan cukup ketat, roknya semi-mini, sehingga bodinya yang seksi semakin kelihatan lekuk likunya.

Bus kota datang, tumini berusaha naik lewat pintu belakang, tapi kakinya kok tidak sampai di tangga bus. Menyadari keketatan roknya, tangan kiri menjulur ke belakang untuk menurunkan sedikit resleting roknya supaya agak longgar.

Tapi, ough, masih juga belum bisa naik. Ia mengulangi untuk menurunkan lagi resleting roknya. Belum bisa naik juga ke tangga bus. Untuk usaha yang ketiga kalinya, belum sampai dia menurunkan lagi resleting roknya, tiba-tiba ada tangan kuat mendorong pantatnya dari belakang sampai Marini terloncat dan masuk ke dalam bus.

Tumini melihat ke belakang ingin tahu siapa yang mendorongnya, ternyata ada pemuda gondrong yang cengar-cengir melihat Tumini.

“Hei, kurang ajar kau. Berani-beraninya nggak sopan pegang-pegang pantat orang!”

Si pemuda menjawab kalem, “Yang nggak sopan itu situ, Mbak. Masak belum kenal aja berani-beraninya nurunin resleting celana gue.”

Pemeras Kecil
Seorang anak kecil yang bandel melihat kakaknya dicium oleh teman lelakinya. Esok harinya, ia menemui lelaki itu.

“Abang semalam mencium kakakku bukan?”
“Ya, tapi jangan keras-keras. Ini seribu untuk tutup mulut!”
“Terima kasih, ini uang kembaliannya lima ratus!”
“Lho, kok pakai uang kembalian segala?”
“Saya tidak mau nakal, Bang. Semua orang yg mencium kakak juga saya tagih lima ratus!”
“???!!!”

Sakit kanker ato Aids??
Seorang penderita kanker di beritahukan oleh dokternya bahwa hidupnya tidak lama lagi hanya sekitar 2 minggu lagi. Mendengar khabar tak mengenakkan hati, ia memberitahukan anaknya untuk segera mengadakan pesta besar perpisahan.

Ditengah kawan-kawannya ia menyatakan : “Maaf teman-teman, Saya mengumpulkan Kalian agar tahu bahwa Saya tak lama lagi akan meninggalkan Kalian, AIDS telah merongrong tubuh Saya.”

Anaknya dengan heran bertanya : “Ayah, mengapa Ayah berbohong atas penyebab kematian Ayah?”

Ayahnya menjawab : “Sssst, aku tak mau salah seorang dari mereka akan tidur dengan Ibumu yang cantik setelah aku meninggal kelak !”

Kalo Kerja Pake Ini
Kerja pake ini Di suatu pinggiran kota, hiduplah seorang nyonya yang cukup (sedikit mampu) dengan pembantunya yang selalu buat masalah.

Suatu hari, pembantu itu memecahkan piring untuk kesekian kalinya... akhirnya nyonya itu memanggil pembantunya sambil memaki berkata," Minah....kamu ini gimana...dasar org goblok, makanya kalau kerja itu jangan pake ini (sambil nunjuk lututnya) tapi pake ini (sambil nunjuk kepalanya, otak-red)...kamu saya pecat.."akhirnya pembantunya pergi...

5 tahun kemudian, di suatu Supermarket..si Nyonya ketemu dengan pembantunya yang dulu tapi dengan pakaian yang mewah dengan banyak perhiasan emas...

Si-nyonya memanggil," Minah, kok kamu sekarang berubah..menjadi kaya...kok bisa????
Si-pembantunya menjawab," makanya Bu, kalau kerja itu jangan pake ini (sambil nunjuk kepalanya, otak-red) tapi pake ini donk (sambil nunjuk dii antara pahanya)...."?#$#@"

Kalau Main Dokter-Dokteran Jangan di Ruang Tamu
Sepasang suami istri tertangkap basah oleh anak mereka ketika sedang melakukan hubungan badan di ruang tamu. Pasangan suami istri itu berusaha menjelaskan kepada anak mereka yang setengah remaja itu, bahwa mereka sedang bergurau dan bermain dokter-dokteran.

Dengan santai si anak menasihati orang tuanya itu, "Kalau mau main dokter-dokteran jangan di ruang tamu, nanti kalau ada orang ngeliat kan disangka sedang melakukan hubungan suami-istri....!"